I admit I've been lazy these last few days. Haven't finish searching my LOs but I'm fiddling with my cell and just staring forward and then upwards and then forward again, nothing important or at least useful to do. Among the last 5 days of univ, I spent 3 afternoons and nights to sleep for more than 8-10 hours (that's every night I mean), rather than using those valuable 8-10 hours to study. On Tuesday, I was able to study for about 1 hour I think, but I was soon very sleepy and headed to bed.
Last night can be marked as the climax. I slept for about 2.5 hours then luckily the alarm did wake me up. During the last week, not a single alarm from my handphone successfully wakes me up, imagine it! Every time I set the alarm in my hand phone, I always set it for every 10 minutes for half an hour. So if I want it to ring at 11pm, then I would set it at 11.00, 11.10, 11.20, and 11.30. But none of those alarms wake me up.
Last night, my friend did help to wake me up by phone (calling me). Maybe it was my fate not being woken up as I wanted coz my handphone was out of battery so it turned off. But then my dream woke me up (what a funny way to be woken up). It turned out that my friend did manage to call me, but then the line was off. Probably due to the empty battery.
Okay, so I did wake up, had my dinner but then I planned to take a short nap. However, didn't wake up at 8 as I planned, but at around 10 or 11pm. Yup, a short nap turned out to be a long one haha. I read about anemia for a while then was sleepy, once again, and headed to sleep. When I woke up, which was at about 3.30am, my head was kind of dizzy so I took one tablet of Paracetamol, hoping that my head would feel better when I wake up again. Unfortunately, it didn't when I wake up at 6am. Tried to sleep again and wake up at 9 to go to the doctor both to treat my headache and to ask for so-called "doctor's letter".
Speaking of doctors, after I met a few doctors in Siloam and the doctor that I went to this morning, for some "reasons", I agree that we should have "Doctors, Professionalism, Ethics and Society" class. As far as I can see, wearing a white coat and not wearing one does make someone, especially a doctor, to treat you. So I went to see a few doctors in Siloam not to get checked up on. They did "welcome" me, but they just didn't give the attention or give the gesture that they are listening to me. One doctor didn't make an eye contact –not even one- and another was on the phone and kept on being on the phone while I was talking. He did hang up towards the end of so-called "meeting", but still, he kept on the phone at first. I thought body language, eye contact and attention is important, as we have learned during Learning and Communication Skills class. Another doctor also was as if busy tidying up his/her desk while I was talking to them. I mean, you can tidy up your desk some other time; it doesn't have to be when I am in front of you, trying to talk to you. Another doctor was also on the phone with his/her maid, I think. I was trying not to distract him/her while he/she was on the phone, but then I had to talk bit by bit when he/she was waiting for response from the other side. However, I still respect the last doctor because he/she apologize that he/she wasn't able to spend some time to talk because he/she is quite busy then.
From all those meetings (experiences you can say), I wish, I really wish from the bottom of my heart…
That some day, the new generations of doctors (like my friends and I), really become better, way better doctor than doctors now.
I'm not talking only about how to diagnose and treat patient or only being innovative, but also create a better image of a doctor.
Just by giving our full attention not only to patients but also others by maintaining eye contact with the person we are talking to, not being on the phone while patient or someone else (anyone) is in front of us in our practice room, use courteous words when talking with anyone and that sort of things.
Oh by the way, I'd like to share this link: http://www.klikdokter.com/article/detail/150123
That link did open my eyes a little more to the "real world of doctors". And I really wish the future new generations of doctors will make a change, I really wish from deep down my heart.
By the way, sometimes I did feel that I'm not in the place I should be. Sometimes I wish I was in X while in the meantime I was in Y. Sometimes it's hard to just let it out, to express how you feel and what you want because maybe you are simply scared or afraid that things might go wrong and won't go back as it's used to, where you used to feel safe and comfortable while deep inside you are not. It is very very hard, I know, and it does take time. It does depends on your personality and temperament as well. You might choose to be comfortable outside and uncomfortable inside rather than "taking a risk" of losing all of it in just a snap.
All I want to say is, try being out of the box although "your box" might be the safest place you will ever be. Sometimes you have to let it as it is for some time, try to adapt, and if you think it's really not working for you, then you might go back to "your box", although as I have said, it's a risk.
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