The most loyal friend,
Will always be there for you.
Perfect example of unconditional love,
Uncomparable love.
Think of this and reflect:
Who never fails you?
Who always listens to you?
Who never leave you in any circumstances?
Who loves you when no one cares for you?
Who always wait for you even when you turn away?
In this Good Friday, I become more deeply in love of Him, the One who I always turn to during stress and when I weep, the One who always try to reach out for me and who always comfort me and calms my mind, during challenges in academic, friendship and family.
Today was the first time, ever, that I let my tears flow from my eyes during a holy mass, although just a one or two drops. Never felt this way before. I just feel that for the last 365 days, He has helped me so much while He does not expect anything in return, except for me to turn to Him and to probably admit my mistakes, the mistakes that He has died for on the cross.
The only One who is willing to bear my cross, my mistakes. The only One who is willing to give his blood, to die for me. This was the song that touched my heart for the first time during a holy mass and I'm sure most people know this song, it's entitled "Seperti Yang Kau Ingini":
Bukan dengan barang fana
Kau membayar dosaku
Dengan darah yang maha
Tiada noda dan celah
Bukan dengan emas perak
Kau menebus diriku
Oleh segenap kasih
Dan pengorbananMu
Ku telah mati dan tinggalkan
Jalan hidupku yg lama
Semuanya sia-sisa
Dan tak berarti lagi
Hidup ini kuletakkan
Pada mesbahMu ya Tuhan
Jadilah padaku seperti
Yang kau ingini
Bukan dengan emas perak
Kau menebus diriku
Oleh segenap kasih
Dan pengorbananMu
Kau membayar dosaku
Dengan darah yang maha
Tiada noda dan celah
Bukan dengan emas perak
Kau menebus diriku
Oleh segenap kasih
Dan pengorbananMu
Ku telah mati dan tinggalkan
Jalan hidupku yg lama
Semuanya sia-sisa
Dan tak berarti lagi
Hidup ini kuletakkan
Pada mesbahMu ya Tuhan
Jadilah padaku seperti
Yang kau ingini
Bukan dengan emas perak
Kau menebus diriku
Oleh segenap kasih
Dan pengorbananMu
Translated in English:
Not with mortal things
You paid my sin
With Your blood
Flawless and breachless
Not with gold silver
You redeem me
With all the love
And Your sacrifice
I've died and left
How I used to live
All those are useless
And meaningless
I place my life
On Your altar, oh Lord
Let me be
How You want me to be
I know I always turn to Him when I'm lost, but when I'm not, I often forget about how He accompanied me for uncountable times. Similar to other human being, I admit that I will only realize this for a moment and then the next thing I know, I've forgotten it.
For the last year, I admit I've gone through quite a challenge, but thanks to Him, He has helped me through my friends and my dearest Mami (auntie) to walk through all those challenges. I know that He won't let me face through challenges that I won't be able to face and I know that He made me face these challenges to grow in Him and so that I'm well-prepared for more small challenges later in life.
I begin to be able to know the true meaning of LOVE, LOYALTY and LIFE. Although I'm still learning of these three and although it's quite difficult to understand, I'm sure that each day He will help me see more of it.
These challenges also made me see who my real friends are, those who really care about me and those who has been willing to listen to me. A few years ago, I've been let down, but I'm grateful that He has lifted me up so that I'm able to continue His plan and to glorify Him. But each moment, I feel that the challenges is getting more and more difficult to face, and there are things which He wants me to understand more.
Just a bit of flashback to this morning, I was digging through one large drawer full of photos, photos of me and my family since I was still young, up until teen. As I was flipping through the photos, I realized how lucky I am to have such loving family, who lifted high the meaning of "love" and "family". I'm sure it's not just because I'm the first grandchildren, but also because He has gifted my parents and grandparents with His unconditional love, although not as perfect as His. Because of His love, my parents have taken care of me and both of my sisters until who we are now. Although both of my sisters often piss me, I'm sure that deep inside, they hide their true love and care for the family, they are probably just shy to express it.
I just hope that He listened to my prayer this afternoon during the holy mass and that I'll become who He wants me to be.
Thank you for everything, especially for the last year, my dear Lord. I always Love you.
